Looking back….
It’s true what they say…looking back to your childhood interests gives great insight as to the passions you are here to develop and share as part of your life’s calling. This occurred to me recently when I came across some art I created back in my childhood.
You see, art for me was something I enjoyed greatly as a child yet kind of lost touch with as I became an adult, then a wife, a mother…there was always something more pressing to do, to take my attention. I can remember spending so much time alone as a child in my bedroom, coloring and creating with my paper and magic markers. I would turn on that Sony walkman and let the good vibes direct my creations. It was a great outlet for me to channel my emotions.
I was creative indeed, as I can also remember being envious of the kids who had braces (go figure), so I concocted my own make shift braces using aluminum foil and placed them across the front row of my teeth! Then there was the time I wished I wore glasses, and therefore cut out and designed my own pair from some flexible cardboard. Mind you, these devices never left the privacy of my own house, but made me feel more “normal” nonetheless.
Another big saving grace for me growing up was my connection to animals and nature. I was not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination but rather the typical tom boy who enjoyed riding my bike in the woods and on dirt trails, picking fights with the boy who lived behind me, and playing outdoors. I think most of us who grew up 40 years ago and beyond, did much the same as we didn’t have as many devices to occupy our attention. We had to use our imagination, and being outside was a great way to explore and satiate the curiosity.
I cannot remember ever owning a doll. Stuffed animals…now they were near and dear to me. Speaking of animals, I would sit out in my garage talking to my two dogs, Hans and Fritz, as if they were my best friends. Well, in some respects they were. They were not allowed in the house, so I would go to their living quarters to sit with them and chat away as they were getting petted or brushed. They loved me unconditionally, and I loved them just the same. Our interactions were so loving and pleasant. This brought me a lot of comfort in what felt like a daunting world.
Fast forward to 2014 and there I was, a mother of three boys, who was fed up working the 9-5 job I had in the medical administrative field. I was beginning to feel constricted and restricted. I needed to grow and expand my horizons. I needed to do something I felt more passionate about, a reason to feel good about getting up in the morning.
A few years prior I had the inspiration to start my own dog walking business, but gave up the notion as I doubted if I would be able to pull it off. Making the jump from being fully employed to starting at ground zero was intimidating. Yet after a brief new job at a home care agency that really did not sit well with me, I had the motivation I needed to go in this new direction.
The first six months were the slowest, but after that it took off and there I was, calling my own shots, walking in nature every day, being with kind hearted animals who were medicine to my soul. The owners I worked for showed me the appreciation I had been lacking in my old work environment. This was a win-win situation!
In 2017, as my children were becoming young men and quite self-sufficient, I found myself encouraged by friends, that I had made through social media, to delve back into art. I was a different person by that point, and my connection to spirit and my soul was what was driving my creations. I found that as someone who was quite cerebral, type A personality most of my life, this new venue of relaxing and channeling abstract art allowed me to be in a receptive, meditative state. This not only brought forth some pretty amazing renditions that I could not have planned otherwise, but it also brought a healing balance to my mind and body.
So here we are, 2023, and I find myself earning my living doing the things that brought me so much joy, expression and comfort as a child….animals and art. I never would’ve guessed all those years ago, in a world that dictates what is “allowable and acceptable”, that I would be able to survive doing what it is that I love most. The old saying is true I suppose…do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.
Let this be an inspiration for those of you who feel lost or unfulfilled. Think back to your childhood and reconnect with what it was that made your heart smile. You never know who may be waiting to receive your gifts!